Marriage and NFP

Edited: Marriage and NFP are amazing! 

First, what is NFP? It is Natural Family Planning! It is using observable signs to determine fertility and infertility of a woman's body.

So why are Marriage and NFP SO AMAZING, Jason? 

Follow me through a thought for a minute, please. We each are made in God's image. Yet, we are male and female...two totally different beings. One (male), fertility never leaves us. The other, sometimes you are fertile and sometimes you are infertile (when no medication is taken to alter your hormones). If you are married, or have seen someone get married, did the priest say something along the lines of "and the two will become one flesh?" So would it be accurate to say that when you consummate the marriage, that you probably don't want anything between you and your spouse (ie. a condom, birth control, etc.) if you are becoming one flesh? If so, are you saying what God has created is imperfect? 

So God creates man and woman in His image. God forms the covenant bond of marriage between the man and woman. God later sends His Son to become man after many covenants were made with man, but man always broke the covenants. The ultimate purpose was that Jesus, as a man, would create a permanent covenant with God that could and would not be broken. In fulfillment of the Old Testament, Jesus, the new Adam, and Mary, the new Eve, were at the Wedding of Cana when He fulfilled His very first miracle. At a Wedding! Where a man and woman are becoming one flesh. 

Jesus, the bridegroom of the church, becomes the Passover Lamb, which we all must eat so that we may have life within you. If Jesus is the bridegroom, and His sacrifice, was a choice, based on knowledge, it was a self-gift, permanent, and life giving, then so should each of our marriages include the above. When contraceptives are used, there are opportunities to make sex about using your spouse versus loving your spouse. It refuses to allow the opportunity for life, and it is not a total self gift. 

Kim knows my total commitment of myself to her in our marriage because she sees it every day. She saw it when we lived in two different cities, 3-hours away. When visiting and she was fertile, we both felt it was important for me to finish school before having children. So we had to abstain from sex. It was rough at times, sure. But we have a stronger marriage because of it. She continues to see my total self gift everyday, and I continue to see her total self gift. 

Speaking of her self-gift, think about pregnancy and labor for a minute. I want to preface the next statement with our society has had a history of objectifying the woman's body. Society has also set a "standard" of what a woman should look like, physically. This standard should not be the standard for women of faith. The standard should be healthy (period). All women from all stages of life are beautiful, especially mothers. Think about what it does to your spouses body. Essentially, every mother made a choice to sacrifice her body to bring new life into this world, to witness a miracle, and to express her love beyond measure for her Maker and her husband. In my eyes, this truly makes a woman beautiful. Pregnancy and labor is beautiful. It's a miracle, but it is also a traumatic event. To see a live birth is truly amazing, and who that child becomes is even more amazing. Parents of children understand the sacrifices we make everyday for our children. 

When us two became one flesh, we made a bond between each other but also between us and God. Consuming the Word and the Eucharist weekly (at minimum), reminds us of the covenant that He made for man and woman. Kim and I are a cog in a wheel. We are instruments for Christ. Marriage is eternal; a covenant Kim and I are blessed to take part in; and it is a blessing to our life. Participating in marriage as it was intended with no obstructions between us has taken our marriage experience to an unworldly level. 

If you are married and practicing NFP, I want to thank you for living the faith. I'd encourage you to dig deeper into the faith. As I have learned since conversion, the faith is so much larger than I had ever imagined. There are always new things to learn. 

If you are married, not practicing NFP, and are still in years of fertility, I encourage you to jump head first into it. Open your marriage to God and life. It'll be a journey you won't forget! 

If you are not married, but plan to get married, I'd encourage you to really pray about this. Our journey continues to get better and better,

Finally, I'll leave you with a quote from Mother Teresa:
“God has created a world big enough for all the lives He wishes to be born. It is only our hearts that are not big enough to want them and accept them. We are too often afraid of the sacrifices we might have to make. But where there is love, there is always sacrifice. Ånd when we love until it hurts, there is joy and peace.”

God Bless You and Your Family,
-Jason